I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
