I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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