we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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