I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
wow bdsm is so cute
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize