Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
