Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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