He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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