We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
