I think scott just propositioned me for sex
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
