U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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