I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
