I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize