what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
