You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He did a backflip because drugs
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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