I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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