I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
