What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
