we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
