At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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