I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
