Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
