For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize