Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
