look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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