hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
