addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish you could order shots online.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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