he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
