Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
