dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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