ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
