do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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