it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
