Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
