he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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