***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Terrible idea I love it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
