Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
