That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have demons in me.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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