So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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