walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
