I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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