He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize