marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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