bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is it fun? or sober?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
