I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
