we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
