Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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