So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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