So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
