the new term for farting is butt boxing.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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