So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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