Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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