nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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