apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
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Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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