life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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