that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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