They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
