Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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