One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
