Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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